More Stupid Things heard on Channel 16

A few weeks ago I posted a story a friend told me about the dumbest thing they heard on Channel 16 while boating in Florida. Here are a couple more.

From the Beagle Blogger, Peter McGrath, heard in the Solent:

“Solent Coastguard this is motor boat Imbecile, I am aground, over.”

“Motorboat imbecile, this is Solent Coastguard, have you tried your engines in astern. over?”

Long silence.

“Solent Coastguard, this is motorboat imecile.  We are no longer aground…”

And this classic from John Gilbert in Canada:

This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy

aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities

off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio

conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on

10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.) 

Canadians:  Please divert your
course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid collision. 

Americans:  Recommend you divert
your course 15 degrees to the
North to avoid a collision. 

Canadians:  Negative.  You will
have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision. 

Americans:  This is the Captain of
a US Navy ship.  I say again,
divert YOUR course. 

Canadians:  No, I say again, you
divert YOUR course. 

Americans:  THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT
CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET.  WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE  DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
SUPPORT  VESSELS.  I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15  DEGREES
NORTH–I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH–OR
COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. 

Canadians:  This is a lighthouse.
Your call.

Keep ’em coming.