British Identity Crisis

A great article in today's NY Times on Great Britain's identity crisis. Gordon Brown (he's the British Prime Minister for readers who aren't British or limeo-Americans like me) decided that it would be nice if Britishness was defined a bit more clearly. Lets face it Britain is a bit vague on quite a few things. For example, there is no written constitution. Even with the help of Wikipedia, I struggled to explain how this worked to my 15-year old son. Among Gordie's initiatives was the idea of having a motto. The French have one - Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite. In the USA we have, et Pluribus Unum, so it's about time the Brits got one. The Times (the London one) ran a competition to see who could come up with a 5 word motto for Britain. Here are some of the best ones. There are some real beauties:

Dipso fatso bingo asbo Tesco (Asbo stands for “anti-social behavior order,” a law-enforcement tool, while Tesco is a ubiquitous supermarket chain) Once Mighty Empire, Slightly Used We Apologize for the Inconvenience Americans who missed the boat At least we’re not France My other car’s a Porche Let’s discuss it down the pub Great Britain: Mind The Gap More in the post continuation...

Britain; Live wrong and prosper! Oggie, oggie, oi, oi, oi! (a little Welsh irony here) Sorry, is this the queue? (my personal favorite) Drinking continues till morale improves In America we trust Britania waives the rules Britain innit (For fans of Ali G) Mustn't grumble Turned out nice again Oh, you are awful, but I like you (Long live Dick Emery) Great Britain - nul point (you really have to be a Brit to understand this one) Mostly Harmless (for Douglas Adams fans) Great Britain - a great place to be from (sad but true IMHO) Anyone fancy a Pint? Average Britain Mad as a box of frogs Best before Nineteen fifty six Two World Wars and One World Cup I sold it on Ebay Chicken Tikka Masala for all We invented the tea bag No motto please, we're British (best till last) A similar exercise was conducted in Australia. Here is the Top 10.

1. Hold my beer and watch this 2. Australia - the only country that eats its national emblem 3. Win or Lose...Hit the Booze 4. Australia - Insert culture here 5. Tie me kangaroo down sport 6. F**k the motto, lets get blotto 7. At least it's not Britain 8. Australia - on parole since 1901 9. No culture, no class, no worries 10. Like a boomerang, you'll be back

Number 2 is my absolute favorite.