Stupid Things Heard on Channel 16

We were sailing with some friends in NJ yesterday. We got to chatting about dumb things heard over the VHF. They told us the dumbest thing they heard once sailing in Florida:

Lady Boater: Attention Coast Guard, I need help.
Coastie: How can I assist
Lady Boater: I can't find Bimini on my map.
Coastie: Can you tell me what the number is on the chart you are looking at
Lady Boater: ...er I don't see any numbers
Coastie: Is there anything on your ..er map that will me help me determine what you are looking at
Lady Boater: Well there is a big Texaco logo in the corner.

I you know some equally stupid things heard over Ch 16, let me know